The first date

As a big fan of The Office, I've always wanted to know how Jim and Pam's first date, no, first week went. Remember, Jim says that he bought the engagement ring a week after they started dating. I'm currently working on filling that gap because,,,,, just because. Here is a snippet of what I am working on:

Jim and I share our first dinner together, comfortably eating and chatting away about everything and nothing. The food, the wine, the weird couple two tables over . . . Are they really wearing the same top?

“I already have our matching outfits picked out,” I say cutting a piece of ravioli.

“Do I get any say in this?” he asks me seriously.

“No,” I answer and continue.”There will be plaid involved.”

“I love plaid,” he states. He smiles at me as he rolls his pasta on his fork. “Will we have to wear matching shoes too?” He gives me a smile before eating his pasta.

“Shoes make the outfit,” I state emphatically. He laughs with a full mouth of pasta. I start to giggle uncontrollably. The belly laugh won’t quit. It feels so good to sit with him and have fun.

It’s not like we haven’t eaten together before. I think of all those lunches in the break room. We’re in that familiar pattern of making each other laugh. The silliest things pop into my head and I have no filter around him. I say what I feel and give my opinion about it without abandon. That’s what makes this, us, so great. I feel like I can tell him anything.

So then why can’t I ask him what I really want to know?

I started with wanting to know about the interview, and I did want to know about it, but that isn’t the big thing on my mind. Not even close. But once I thought about him in New York, crap, I hyperventilated.

I don’t want dessert. I can’t sit here much longer. I’m fighting to keep my twitching under control. I need to move. That will help my words spill out. The real words. The real questions.

“So, what do you want to do now?” he asks as he signs the check.

“Thank you for dinner,” I say shyly. He bought me dinner. I know it’s so old fashioned but it gives me goose bumps. Roy and I were together so long, it stopped being about treating me or making me feel special. If I’m honest with myself, aside from maybe by accident, he never made me feel special. Not like I was his world. More like, I should be happy I was in his world.

No more Roy thought.

“How about we go for a walk at the park by my place,” I suggest. He nods and stands up, offering me his hand. Seriously, he’s adorable.

“We can park at my apartment and then walk to the ice cream shop,” I say as we reach the car. “I need something sweet.”

“I’ve got my something sweet,” he says with a grin. He leans in and kisses me as I’m up against the car door. I feel his hand cradle the back of my head as I clutch his shirt. My mind is spinning. He’s here; he’s right here and I’ve wanted this for so long. I’ve wanted to kiss him without guilt. His lips are gentle over mine and I want to cry it feels so good. I feel him pull back.

“Wow, I need to pace myself or you’re gonna think I’m trying to get into your pants,” he laughs releasing a shaky breath.

I rest my head on his chest, I feel his heart beat thundering. “Well, we’ve already done the ‘get to know you’ part of dating for the last several years.” I look up at him, “That’s a lot of foreplay.”

He stares into my eyes for a long few seconds. I see the question in his eyes, and then the answer.

“Ice cream,” he exclaims stepping around me to open my door. “Let’s get you some ice cream.”

“Yes,” I say. “Ice cream.”